Everyone has their “thing”. That something they prefer to splurge on each month out of their hard earned dollars. For some it’s getting their hair done ( I haven’t done that in a full year). Or, maybe its a massage ( again, been about a year) and for others it could be anything from shopping (rare) to getting their nails done (never). It’s usually something we do to keep ourselves “up” and to feel like we’ve progressed or better ourselves in some way. For me, It’s having a fitness/nutritional coach.
When I was in my depression “funk” in the winter of this year (2017), I couldn’t figure out what was missing. I thought it was competing in bodybuilding and I struggled so hard to find out that wasn’t necessarily the case. I was feeling so misguided and confused. I would enter the gym and wonder around aimlessly. Take trips in and out the kitchen snacking on food like a bottomless pit, waiting for a “we’re full” signal or for someone to stop me. This is what happens when you’re a bikini competitor who is used to this kind of guidance for four consecutive years, it’s difficult to not have that structure anymore. A person who loves and craves discipline, along with direction. I enjoy having guidelines to follow, but most of all I enjoy having accountability from someone to ensure that I’m keeping on task with my goals. I consider myself to be self motivated, but I also require a goal and sometimes a little outside “push” to get the job done.
Some wonder why as a personal trainer and fitness coach, I would need a trainer? I like to think of it as any other profession. Teachers were taught by someone else and they continue to learn in other ways. Your doctor has a doctor, your hair dresser has a hair dresser and your personal trainer usually has a personal trainer or someone that they look to for guidance. But my reasoning for having a coach, runs a little deeper than this.
As a perfectionist and someone who struggles with anxiety and is an emotional eater, it can be easy for me to over/under eat and over train. I’m an all or nothing kind of person who has struggled with these tendencies for years. I personally started to struggle with my relationship with food after high school, and it continued on until I started bodybuilding. Having a coach (not specific to bikini prep) was such an amazing way for me to be sure that I was eating ENOUGH on a regular basis and to also keep me accountable with emotional binges (restrict and binge cycle). A coach forced me to learn new exercises, and to build muscle instead of focusing on cardio only. Most of all, a coach taught me that eating ENOUGH was very important to progress. Carbs? AND protein 6x per day.. what?! I had never eaten so much in my life! But considering my first attempt with a coach was for an extreme weight loss, this structured way of living caused food anxiety. After measuring everything out to the gram perfectly for so many years (4 years off and on) you start to become one track minded. I do however feel like there it is possible to find balance while being accountable, as opposed to being ridiculously rigid all the time and measuring protein powder on a god damn scale.
I personally believe that if you have ever struggled with any sort of disordered eating habits or an eating disorder, it’s very difficult not to fall Back into that old mind set. We as women often feel pressured to be small, tiny and petite. If you’ve ever restricted calories, then convincing yourself that “eating more is a good thing” is not an easy task. Whether you struggle with not eating enough, or eating too much I feel like having someone to check in with, is one of the many benefits to having a fitness/nutrition coach. “Hey, here I am and here was my week. How am I doing?” Each week when I perform my check-ins and review my previous week, I feel accomplished and well.. happy! I’m not someone who tosses out compliments left and right and I’m most certainly not the person who pats myself on the back as often As I should. “Great job Linds!” Isn’t something I mumble to myself very often and that’s a problem. But! I enjoy having feedback from someone else and most of all the constructive criticism, critiques, and advice a coach can give me. I enjoy the guidance along my fitness journey, but most of all it keeps my mental health in check. It’s easy for me to over do things and take them to an unnecessary extreme.
Now, how often do you find a great groove and then fall all off because you “don’t have time” or because you “have so much going on” ? I have experienced this myself, as well as have had many clients and friends experience it. The last time I thought I needed a break from having a coach it was merely because I had so much going on in my life that I felt I couldn’t be accountable (sound familiar?) The thing about being accountable is, it’s exactly that. Even If you had a less than desirable week, you make note of it. Put it in a “check-in” and tell someone! “Hey look, I fucked up. But I’m trying! This week will be better and thank you for guiding me.” That way you’re able to acknowledge what’s happening and save yourself from obliviously digging yourself deeper into a hole of possible extreme weight gain. I took a “break” from coaching in 2016 during the most emotional winter of my life, and it resulted in a weight gain of 25lbs. What did I learn? That given my emotional eating tendencies, and my past eating habits, I need a coach and that its ok! To ask for help. I thought I needed a break from someone else’s critiques and someone else’s judgment, but what I needed was a break from my own high, unrealistic expectations. Your coach is there to help guide you through the shit and make it a little less shittier. They’re not there to make you feel worse about the week that you were too sick or busy to hit the gym, or that time you had a blizzard for Breakfast. They’re there for support and to remind you that even on the worst weeks, you can still progress from here!
For anyone who is struggling to find balance in their relationship with food or fitness, I’ve been the one restricting AND over doing cardio. I’ve been the one restricting, and then binging and feeling the guilt afterwards. I’ve also been the one feeling as if I can’t ever leave home with out a packed meal, or a food scale because I’m so worried about the portion sizes of food. There is a balance and for everyone the solution to balance can look a little different. For me, that means having someone help keep me accountable. In no way am I saying that I’m an expert on the field, but I do believe that for me, having a rough estimate of what I’m putting in my body is a way of releasing some anxiety and stresses that I may carry with food. If you’re someone who makes lists, you can understand how much stress and anxiety can instantly be lifted off of your shoulders from simply writing things down on a piece of paper. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help on your journey because there is always someone out there willing to lend a helping hand.
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